To Stay on or To Walk off?

~Tough Decision that bothers my mind long long ago as I fear to face it cz doubt that I will choose the wrong route...~

*030412, Tuesday..Rainy Day*

These days, life is indeed great! Showered with crazy friends and marvelous moments spent. Feeling good as life with no love burden, Free & Easy.. only have my great friends around who I dearly cherish.

Aside this, something came in my mind which I did silently buried in my heart for quite sometime and refuses to dig it and to really made a knot of it~
Often avoiding it...

All this while, I'm staying because I'm keen to learn something new which I'm zero in it. I do feel that this is the way it suppose to be~ However, undeniable fact is that, it's something I'm ain't into it and there's goes a year I'm here...
Actually, I had set up my mind, to stay and keep my route clear what is my future prospect which I should look/climb for... Mindset had fixed and walking on now. However, my friends had remind me about what I truly am and had flashed my will...

What to be done? How to be done? When to be done?
Will it be DONE???

Figuring & Doubting...

Love,
Vinns

what's in me~

171111, thurs... Clear night

Since last week till now, I started to enjoy swimming. Working out. All such making me to have some lil desire to walk on daily. At least something healthy huh? I think so... Seriously, I sux in swimming but I just enjoyed the moment I dive in the pool. It feels I'm being covered. Not alone. Well, this is all I desire in my life, having someone to pampered me and showered me with sincere love. That's all. Well, it seems tough to fulfill this. So, lil diving in pool does satisfied me since it's unreachable for now or maybe not at all, anymore.

Previously I remembered that I said I could not find myself back, if you ask me, have I found it now?

I will say, maybe yes... Maybe no.. (at least better than not at all right?) anyway, I still heading to no where as at now. Flowing with time. I never ever dare to dream much of my route, as I planned too much and hoping too much had drown me twice. Phobia and conflict within myself.

And it's going to be the end of the year which suppose to be the best happening time of the year. However, it's seems pretty dull to me. I wished dt I'm not alone during Christmas Eve and New Year Eve.

If only... Hmmm

Lonely,

Vinns

Choices? Alternatives?

210210,sun..sunny day...it had been awhile to update myself..though at times, i felt lik blog-ing but jz dun hav the time..well,undeniable now dt, im pretty free..this beginning year..wow..lotx tings jz fall upon me..d 1st day of the year, once again..a tradegy occurred..which is my grandma had leave this world..hmm..is a good thing thou as she had suffered lotx lotx and struggling hard fo years..may she rest in peace...hmmm..

Besides, a good thing to share is dt, my event had jz ended..finally de...its was a marvellous journey...well, will share bout this to all of u later after i got all d pictures updated..hehe.. and guess wad, after since f5,now, im bak to short hair de..a very different look compared to d previous me..hmm.. i cud say it , a completely new me de..well, d moment on 120210, carrefour, A Creative Saloon..i totally hav no doubt dt i need to get this done de..wanted short hair and really hope for a new appearance de..wow, suprisingly, it turned up to a good thingy..got lotx of compliment bout it..hehe..a good thingy too... loving it too...and enjoying it as no need to take toooooo much care of it..hahaha..let me share sum snapshots of me..hehe

^d 2010 Vinns^

Actually, right now, im in deep confusion..mind seems packed lotx of stuff..slept at nearly 2 am,..in suden jz popped up at 7am..dunno y...and jz cant slep bak....thinking that my future days actually...normally ppl around me will say, 'come on,vinns...let it be..dun think so much..when time comes, u will know wad to do and face it...' ...to me, its aint so realistic to actually think of nth bout future de...further more, which path shud i retain? as, things had change..maybe cud be said dt i indeed had changed as d circling and environment had changed too..things dun seems so passionate as be4 as feeling dt it dun worth so much of my efforts..dunno y, im jz feeling this way.... as things seems dt is being conquered and monitored, well..jz let it b...the war was a succeess to them is bcox of their efforts and strategy put in and my failure is cz of i jz dun hav enuff time...so cud this named dt im not as good as them when they hav plenty of time to do it?? well..mayb its a wrong timing for me..which causes me can excel completely!...hmmm..well..its life...first come, first serve..speed is everything de!

Where else,now all im more focus in is my studies de...as im in a very fragile and critical situation ..and I JUST NEED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!! if not, im jz going to be in such a doom de!...so now, jz packing up my stuffs to go bak to ukm...well,frankly, i miss my bed there..hehe.. Once im bak to ukm today, lotx of things awaiting me to be done and reach~~~

And a new war begins...

Vinns

confusion mind...

290509,0330 Hour...hmm...recently my days and nites are packed wif meetings and settling my personal task...but nth seems to turn up...especially sum tasks in my hand...hmm...i dunno where to start..wad to start.....and my heart felt heavy in sudden wen i'm playing sum kinda emotional songs...aikz...making me flashing bak lotx things dt i aint suppose to think bout it now....hmm...plz let me get rid of it...i had enuff of those........i really do...yet i guess mayb recently ppl around me alwiz reminding me bout those.......sigh....i jz wana get rid of it and wana treasure wads in front of me.....i jz love things around me now...neva wana hav any changes...i really do...God, bless me strength to go on wif stronger heart to cherish every second of my precious moment wif wad i deeply into it......sigh.....

Vinns