~Be thankful of their existence in life~
*101211, fri.. rainy night*
Alright, it had been a week since I'm back to Singapore from Msia. Well, what makes a difference, actually is nothing. Whether I'm at SG or MY makes no difference (to you or anyone), that's the main point.
"Vinns, face it! Be realistic and please stay awake at ALL time! Can't you??? "
I often remind myself. Hmm... I know.. I truly know all these facts and the reality but its the heart and feelings is still showering me. Stop... please stop, don't haunt me. I already feel that I'm not myself at all. I really do.
Cause, I'm indeed how I am as per the email I wrote to you 2 years ago in Journey of My Love which I bet that it won't ever rings a bell to you. If you only see this blog, If only you see back the emails.. hmm.. and next action is that you will delete it...
Every single words in it represents exactly how I am. Is Exactly.
Last weekend, going office at 1am till the next day 2pm. Even This whole week was terrible hustle to me as waking up at 8plus am and reach home earliest at 1am plus to 4am. $$$ is hard earned. However, I does not like the environment. Not happy working. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I might not be extremely good but I just have my stands to ensure what is wrong and right.
Busy days help alot in many ways. At least, all I had in mind is to sleep and work only. This is the recent me.
A person who does not think much of the future. Flowing exactly how the water flows without any precaution (Tired of it). Does not hope and not being imaginative (as no one really will know what will happen the next hour; I experienced it_many in sudden occur just like that and impact your life ENTIRELY). Thus, I could be really frank that I have nothing in mind as just passing one day by the other. No goal or destination yet a grey journey. Its not that I give up in life, but its just that I walk without a soul or a motive, it seems to be naturally.
The great lost causes me lost and even lose the entirely ambitious & confident Vinns SYN. However, your existence indeed shapes how I am and coloured my life beautifully+joyfully with memorable moment and now its all gray-scaled.
While, you are enjoying every single bit of your time happiily at this every second, I really do envy you. Envy you that a person who used to love me so much and deep yet an apple of the eye to you, now could let go just like that and enjoying new environment/surroundings. How did you do it? Salute...
At times, I really hope, one fine day, i lost my memory. All memories. All these while, my life is meaningful when your shadow reaches mine. I walked with pride and love. Now, since its gone, I often hope that, it will be gone with my memories,together it disappears and erased, as in all of it since I'm born. At least, I could be a white paper. Start everything again. All over again...I don't mind.
Rising up alone is harsh... darn harsh and tough...painful~
God, please do take me with you if you feel that I'm mentally tortured and suffered enough.
Although, daily seems nothing but deeply in me, heart bleeds. Non-stop silently...
Vinns
"Vinns, face it! Be realistic and please stay awake at ALL time! Can't you??? "
I often remind myself. Hmm... I know.. I truly know all these facts and the reality but its the heart and feelings is still showering me. Stop... please stop, don't haunt me. I already feel that I'm not myself at all. I really do.
Cause, I'm indeed how I am as per the email I wrote to you 2 years ago in Journey of My Love which I bet that it won't ever rings a bell to you. If you only see this blog, If only you see back the emails.. hmm.. and next action is that you will delete it...
Every single words in it represents exactly how I am. Is Exactly.
Last weekend, going office at 1am till the next day 2pm. Even This whole week was terrible hustle to me as waking up at 8plus am and reach home earliest at 1am plus to 4am. $$$ is hard earned. However, I does not like the environment. Not happy working. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I might not be extremely good but I just have my stands to ensure what is wrong and right.
Busy days help alot in many ways. At least, all I had in mind is to sleep and work only. This is the recent me.
A person who does not think much of the future. Flowing exactly how the water flows without any precaution (Tired of it). Does not hope and not being imaginative (as no one really will know what will happen the next hour; I experienced it_many in sudden occur just like that and impact your life ENTIRELY). Thus, I could be really frank that I have nothing in mind as just passing one day by the other. No goal or destination yet a grey journey. Its not that I give up in life, but its just that I walk without a soul or a motive, it seems to be naturally.
The great lost causes me lost and even lose the entirely ambitious & confident Vinns SYN. However, your existence indeed shapes how I am and coloured my life beautifully+joyfully with memorable moment and now its all gray-scaled.
While, you are enjoying every single bit of your time happiily at this every second, I really do envy you. Envy you that a person who used to love me so much and deep yet an apple of the eye to you, now could let go just like that and enjoying new environment/surroundings. How did you do it? Salute...
At times, I really hope, one fine day, i lost my memory. All memories. All these while, my life is meaningful when your shadow reaches mine. I walked with pride and love. Now, since its gone, I often hope that, it will be gone with my memories,together it disappears and erased, as in all of it since I'm born. At least, I could be a white paper. Start everything again. All over again...I don't mind.
Rising up alone is harsh... darn harsh and tough...painful~
God, please do take me with you if you feel that I'm mentally tortured and suffered enough.
Although, daily seems nothing but deeply in me, heart bleeds. Non-stop silently...
Vinns
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