~indeed, only in heart...silently~131111, sunday..rainy day
To make an effort to write this blog had taken me alot. I traveled from Aljuneid>DhobyGhout>City Hall>Bugis, just look for places to online. Its either the place is packed/no plug/no wireless. Then, by the moment want to leave and I spotted a corner place which where I am now, Starbucks Bugis under the Sun...
over.
Looking back, there's about a month plus that its already over. Yes indeed. I'm all alone. Although I know dt I got alot of friends supporting me, backing me up.. I deeply appreciate it, darlings.
However, my wounded heart has a very very deep scar which is still healing slowly although I tried to keep myself OK & happy in everyone's eyes. I smiled. I laughed. However, if i cry, i will cry alone, wets my pillow silently. I dont wana them to worry about me, and I know that i'm a fool who often daydreaming about nothing.
Frankly, I lost the spark in me. Seriously. I lost my direction. I don't see a point that I'm heading to. Being at SG or MY, I don't see a point. I don't see my value to exist anymore. This is bad. I'm indeed making effort to search it back, because now I'm on my own. Before, I always have someone to uphold me and to walk on with me at all time. No matter what, I have someone to go through with me. Hmm..But now I.. know that I have to accept this. Accepting it. I'm on my own.
Besides, I know that you are doing good now. Glad to hear that. Going through life happily with your frens, which my existence makes no difference in you. Your life is only coloured by them and everyone but just excluding me. Whether I exist anymore also would not even impact you. I wonder.. is it really so? It seems that I'm totally being erased from your heart and mind. Well, probably I'm really not good enuf for you nor not worthy it to accommodate in your heart which others deserve better.
Now and always, you are my greatest friend..my soulmate..
I'm aint sure that I still love you anot (I tried to ignore this as its not important to anyone anymore), all I know is that, I hope you are happy.. everyone is happy...That's enough..
Love,
Vinns
over.
Looking back, there's about a month plus that its already over. Yes indeed. I'm all alone. Although I know dt I got alot of friends supporting me, backing me up.. I deeply appreciate it, darlings.
However, my wounded heart has a very very deep scar which is still healing slowly although I tried to keep myself OK & happy in everyone's eyes. I smiled. I laughed. However, if i cry, i will cry alone, wets my pillow silently. I dont wana them to worry about me, and I know that i'm a fool who often daydreaming about nothing.
Frankly, I lost the spark in me. Seriously. I lost my direction. I don't see a point that I'm heading to. Being at SG or MY, I don't see a point. I don't see my value to exist anymore. This is bad. I'm indeed making effort to search it back, because now I'm on my own. Before, I always have someone to uphold me and to walk on with me at all time. No matter what, I have someone to go through with me. Hmm..But now I.. know that I have to accept this. Accepting it. I'm on my own.
Besides, I know that you are doing good now. Glad to hear that. Going through life happily with your frens, which my existence makes no difference in you. Your life is only coloured by them and everyone but just excluding me. Whether I exist anymore also would not even impact you. I wonder.. is it really so? It seems that I'm totally being erased from your heart and mind. Well, probably I'm really not good enuf for you nor not worthy it to accommodate in your heart which others deserve better.
Now and always, you are my greatest friend..my soulmate..
I'm aint sure that I still love you anot (I tried to ignore this as its not important to anyone anymore), all I know is that, I hope you are happy.. everyone is happy...That's enough..
Love,
Vinns
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