Loneliness, That's How Am I

221010, fri..clear day.. Awake since 10am, walk down to living room. Mind had set to concentrate in studying but yet my heart aint here. Staring at d book for couple of minutes. It seems nothing absorb in my mind & just don't understand what is it talking about.

Am I getting more noob or I don't how to read?? Heart-sick when Im feeling this way. I really wana study but nothing I could understand.

Maybe right inside myself, there's too much things that had tied up. Just a lot. Don't know where and how to end this up. Actually nothing I cud be doing. As everything is out of my control. Well, its foolish & dumb for me to think of it but I just can't resist it.

There's once twice, I did share to some ppl, with some surface prob, I didn't went deep in to share with ppl, well, thats me! Don't like ppl to see the helpless me. As I know that no one would deeply understand my situation and how I'm feeling. Fact is that truly they unable to see wad & how am I de. So, what's the point for me to voice it out? Walk by my own is the safe side for me.

There's only one place which is my heart to keep everything that no one could see. A lot of things, Im doubting myself. Toooo much circumstances that Im going thru.

Studies had compact my mind completely! No way out to breath. Deep in me, I'm seriously darn worry but just remain calm in reality. Pointless for me to be panic or wad, as stupid management from university is changing policy though exam is only few days away!

Right now, my heart felt heavy. Maybe the quota had its limit. Indeed, someone arise in my dailys. Didn't feel soooo much into it of existence since recently. Well, maybe its timing.

Although its not a compulsory for you to acknowledge me anything, indeed makes me felt empty when there's no news from you. Belief it, I was indeed waiting for ur news by time to time.

If only you know...

I guess, I'm being tooo over in this. As this truly did affect my mood. Unexpectedly. When time comes, I start awaits for your news. Just waiting...Being such way by myself is insane. As no other ppl will feel such way as me or maybe other ppl would feel its nothing. Insanity!

I think should actually pull myself away from this tooooo much before I unable to do so & grieve seriously about it....

Lonely,

Vinns