Dare Not~

190512, sat.. Clear night

Nothing much, sitting alone at pool. Just had liquor to ease my complicated feelings in me. 

Today spent alot of time to see Ella & her hubby happenings and wedding. Felt so happy for her and him. 

Deeply, freaking envy the magnificent love between them, in them. Love the way it feels. 

Deeply, thinking how I wish that I able to have such mr right. Ain't need to be rich or good looking. Everything is moderate will do, mostly important it's the loyalty and sincere love yet caring which meant everything in LOVE. 

Too bad, sadly to admit that I still believe in LOVE BUUUUTTTTTT I yet still to take the risk of LOVE. 

All these while, I had bare toooooooo much which now I'm unable to take on comparison..

commitment.. jealousy.. curiosity..fear of breaking.. 

The hurt and drought moments to climb up, its painful and unbearable....

In short, I dare not love. Seriously, I dare not. That's the real me as of now. 

We will see when time comes... 

 Love,
Vinns