i love my life..i love my present...~~no doubt!

020809,sun..sunny day..recently,i'm quite enjoying my life...scheluded wif meetings, appointments,classes and not to forget,entertainment and movies~~!! "study hard, work harder and play the hardest!!"haha..enjoying the moments of bz life..though frustation coming non-stop,well its part of challenges in life de...still able to take it...

actually,sumthing seems playing in my mind for this few days bak...sumthing dt i wana get rid of it...sumthing dt i dun wana remember at all...sumthing dt i wana wash it away from my memories de..gosh..!!!i tot dt i had get over it long ago de....i tot dt i had let it down de...and seriously,its jz haunting me!! i hate this feeling....its start dragging my routine lifes as it had happen be4 long long ago...wheneva i'm alone or felt down after quarrelling, sumthing jz wil flash bak in my mind automaticly!!! there's no turning bak.....as things NEVER gonna attach together anymore~~!! its d end of us in d past till forever as v dun meant for each other as how u ever said be4...............no more,its d end...~~!!!

y....y...y.......i truly hate myself being in dis situation de....i keep questioning myself de...y..y its shadow appearing again...stop it...plz..let me go...wad i want now is my present...i'm happy wif my present...though ups and downs often happen and even misunderstanding & arguement often occur..well,its meant to be in order to hav a smooth and happy yet to understand more bout each other...

at times, i start to doubt dt the closest person around me dun seems to understand me well....wadeva at wheneva i try to voice out my sadness and frustation, i felt i'm such a fool as i dun feel dt i'm cared or wad...i even felt more stress at times..i felt dt i'm actually criticizing myself..i'm trying to make myself not worth even a single cent....diz causes me feeling even more down......i dunno who to go to as i noe dt i only loves you...only you.....
all this while, i tot when i'm lost...i alwiz have you around to hold me on to go through......but your shadow seems fading so much...its not dt i cant reach yours but i'm feeling dt you dun seems wana reach mine at all de....our perceptions in many ways seems so negative....not magnetic at all de...and belief it, v can even start a fire in each other heart when v are talking about someone else...!! v can even nearly argue cz of sum ppl dt dun worth at all!!! i felt so damn frustrated!!!! oh gosh~~!!! but,i try to swallow it.....trying to swallow my anger...my harsh words...i muz learn to control...i muz learn to 'lose'....i muz learn to be patient...cz i neva wana my past incident to repeat evr again in my life!!nightmare!!!...so i need....need badly to bao yung.....in order to have a stable wan....cz i am serious in my present....very serious.....hmmm...so no matter wad it takes, its worthy as i noe you are doing the same most of the times....may v cud be unstoppable...

no matter wad,i never ever doubt my love for u....as i noe its for real....nth can replace u....as for the past shadow, i truly hope dt it can stop haunting me immediately.... as i need no one else in my life,i only need you...........only one and d only you.............

Vinns