being a fool..treated like a fool...

050609,fri..sunny day..right now, freaking free online at jusco s2 after meeting with sum dealers...actually just passing by time to await for fren to finish work de...surfing the net and watching movie is the best thing to do but kinda sleepy now cz last nite bz wif FB de..haha...
yest was a bad day for me de...lotx things occur...sigh..sumtime i wonder, am i doing the right thing??..as in, making out plans & suprises..but sum1 seems not to bother much...making me feeling and looking so foolish de...just like fool preparing and arranging this and that ,no one giving a damn...walau...i was so hurt....though i noe no matter how much i give in, i should not demand anything in return...i noe..i noe..i dint expect anything,i really dont but just dun make me feel that sum1 dont even bother to loook at it de...sigh...this causes me feel lik stopping there and dont wana continue wasting my time...aikz...but its juz a instant feeling..sure mm xie tuck wan de...so last nite,everything was like give and take...forgiven de..wad to do wen my love for you is even deeper more than anything...so now, yet still wif plans and hoping you willbe pleasant with my deeds and efforts....

another chapter of my life that causes me a terrible heartache is the closest to person in my life ever since I'm born...this circle is a circle that i often refuse to bother much but their words seems like a sharp spear that could able to cause my heart bleed even though its just verbally...i just dont understand why they cant stand on my situatiion and think of it...why they only know how to asy i'm not good at dis dat..i'm stupid at dis dat....i'm stubborn at dis dat..its out of my control!! eg,if i got offer job at kl,obviously i'm accept it,its money man!! dun tell me dt, they expect me to sit at home and wait for money to fall down izzit??!! damn...accussing me dt i'm doing nth and only noe how to waste money..saying i'm uselss...but in front of me, saying i'm dis good dat good...walau~~!! wad kinda human is dis??!!!! i tot they hav a changed perception on me when i'm showed and give and take wif them....and now, they are playing words wif me...trying to be traitors!!!! i dint expect this to happen in dis circle...anymore....though it used to happen be4....am i not good enough huh??!!! am i not tolerating enough??!!just dont make me as a fool..as ur puppet..i'm not more in your control!!! if u dare, say it in front of me and not behind me....dun force me doing this dt i'm not suppose to treat you...dun test my patients...just wait till i'm done with studies....and u're saying those words dat accusing me dis and dat....you will c...i hate to feel dis way....so i juz neva put a heart to dis circle..i rather to live on my own...survivng on my own.......

Vinns