Dare Not~

190512, sat.. Clear night

Nothing much, sitting alone at pool. Just had liquor to ease my complicated feelings in me. 

Today spent alot of time to see Ella & her hubby happenings and wedding. Felt so happy for her and him. 

Deeply, freaking envy the magnificent love between them, in them. Love the way it feels. 

Deeply, thinking how I wish that I able to have such mr right. Ain't need to be rich or good looking. Everything is moderate will do, mostly important it's the loyalty and sincere love yet caring which meant everything in LOVE. 

Too bad, sadly to admit that I still believe in LOVE BUUUUTTTTTT I yet still to take the risk of LOVE. 

All these while, I had bare toooooooo much which now I'm unable to take on comparison..

commitment.. jealousy.. curiosity..fear of breaking.. 

The hurt and drought moments to climb up, its painful and unbearable....

In short, I dare not love. Seriously, I dare not. That's the real me as of now. 

We will see when time comes... 

 Love,
Vinns

To Stay on or To Walk off?

~Tough Decision that bothers my mind long long ago as I fear to face it cz doubt that I will choose the wrong route...~

*030412, Tuesday..Rainy Day*

These days, life is indeed great! Showered with crazy friends and marvelous moments spent. Feeling good as life with no love burden, Free & Easy.. only have my great friends around who I dearly cherish.

Aside this, something came in my mind which I did silently buried in my heart for quite sometime and refuses to dig it and to really made a knot of it~
Often avoiding it...

All this while, I'm staying because I'm keen to learn something new which I'm zero in it. I do feel that this is the way it suppose to be~ However, undeniable fact is that, it's something I'm ain't into it and there's goes a year I'm here...
Actually, I had set up my mind, to stay and keep my route clear what is my future prospect which I should look/climb for... Mindset had fixed and walking on now. However, my friends had remind me about what I truly am and had flashed my will...

What to be done? How to be done? When to be done?
Will it be DONE???

Figuring & Doubting...

Love,
Vinns